Remember that strength I've told you all I've been feeling? I started working on the room again with my "I can do this" mentality until I found Adalynne's old friend today... This was THE ONLY toy Adalynne ever used. It smells like her still. My heart is so broken.... I just want to scream. My heart physically hurts at moments like this, I can't breath and just sink... these moments overwhelm me. Little suckered punches to my heart and soul. She used to snuggle this everynight. I used it to help her little bones not rub together in her sleep towards the end. How can such a tiny thing cause such an emotional breakdown.... it hurts so bad not having her here.
Grief has its waves. Good moments.. bad moments.. I've learned to just accept these moments. I let my body feel what it feels. If I need to laugh, I'll laugh. If I need to cry, I'll cry. In the end I am still in control of my body. We all have these times in our life where we sit on the floor and cry. Mine happen more than most I hope. I always get up and dry my tears and carry on. I did it her whole life and I'll continue through mine. But right now. Imma cry on the floor and miss my baby. ✌
No comments:
Post a Comment