Thanksgiving

Hello beautiful souls,
I hope all of you have been enjoying your families today, and eating tons of good food obviously. Today is a day of reflection of the things most important to us. Over my journey this past year and a half I've started learning to realize what's most important and what I am thankful for. My family, friends, food to eat, and a home to live in. I can go on and on of things I've started appreciating more and more. But, today is slightly different, and deeper than the usual. 

Today, I stopped and reflected once again. What am I most thankful for this thanksgiving without my baby? I've thought about this all day and it finally hit me. I am thankful for my body. This vessel  that holds my soul. This body has been through hell and back and yet, she's still standing. My body grew, carried and delivered my sweet warrior. The place Adalynne loved the most was right on my chest. My body fed my baby for 4 months out of her 9 months alive. This vessel survived nearly dying at 18 in a car accident. And even, multiple surgeries throughout its short existence. 

It's full of scars and stretch marks and will never be as skinny as I want but, I'm healthy.
My body and mind are healthy in a world full is disorders and disease. I would have traded places with my baby girl in two shakes of my hips, but life doesn't work like that. We get what we get dealt and we can't control what our hand will be. I was able to open my eyes, get out of bed myself and go cook breakfast this morning.  Some people can't even do the first of those listed. I'm so thankful for this body and how much it amazes me each day. I'm proud of the progress my body has made and the differences since having my sweet girl. I'm thankful for all types if things each and every day but, today I'm thankful for me.  Thank you body for allowing me to sob on the floor and then push myself up, wipe my eyes and carry on with my day. These moments of weakness followed by strength keep me going. This body gives me hope for the things I can do tomorrow. 

Enjoy the rest of your night with your family and be careful to the shoppers that are about to be out n full force. And, love yourself a little today when thinking of others. Sometimes we overlook ourselves too much. 

All my love readers,

You guys are freaking amazing. 

Purple dress

Hello all my fantastic readers,
Today has been a pretty good day so far. In my happy mood I wanted to share a story with you all that I don't think I've ever mentioned on here. Adalynne's purple dress. Some of you might remember last year we had some wonderful and very close friends get a spaghetti dinner benefit together to help raise money for us (thank you to the Nichols family and friends and everyone who came out to support us. I love you all so dang much.) The family gifted us this purple dress that was so beautiful I obviously cried. We took this beautiful gift that was too big for her tiny body but perfect for pictures to our beloved friend Deborah Hendrix. Deborah is an outstanding photographer that did pictures of Adalynne from birth to hospice. (Another huge thank you and big hugs for her.) These pictures of Adalynne in the beautiful purple and white dress were stunning. I cherish them along with the others each and everyday. As I type this I'm starring at the very picture that sparked this blog today. Fortunately for me and my family Deborah worked with the funeral home after Adalynne passed. She took one of the pictures of my sweet warrior and used it as her portrait for her funeral. It now sits on our mantle for all to see her beautiful face, in the sweet purple dress.
Right after Adalynne died, mom and I were shopping for candles and jars for her Celebration Of Life. We were both becoming overwhelmed with emotions and decided to go ahead and check out. Standing in the line with a cart full of things for my baby's funeral I glanced over at a shelf and saw a cabbage patch doll, with that beautiful purple dress on. I stopped and grabbed mom and pulled her over. We both starred at the blonde hair green eyed little doll, in an exact matching purple dress. Then our song came on over the intercom of the store. Fighting back tears I told mom she had to get the doll. This was Adalynne's way of giving mom her own bear to hold.
All my life my mother has loved cabbage patch dolls. She has a lot of them put up in boxes for years now. But, I used to play with some of them when I was little. Once we came home, mom found a red headed blued doll and put the dress on her. A perfect fit for our sweet warrior.  Now, we have our sweet baby to look at and cuddle. In that beautiful purple dress.

It's funny how the little things can make our day to day life so much easier. I thank my warrior everyday for showing us her light and love.
Hug your babies and loved ones tight, tomorrow is never promised and each breath is precious.

Until next time beautiful souls.

All my love.