***warning of "bad" language***
..."no dalton left, his parents and brother were in a bad wreck"
...what?
*phone rings*
"heather, your parents and Ian were involved in a car accident by the school. Your dad is still pinned in the car, it was really bad. Have you talked to your brothers"
....
.......
*sinks to floor*
No.. no no no. This is a dream..
I'm dreaming, and must wake up.
Sobs escaped my body while my brain ran 100 circles in my fucking head.
What... how.. why... WHAT THE FUCKKK
I can't handle this. How can I do this. Oh my. Holy shit. Ian.
"Dalton, hey, what's going on?!"
"Mom n Dad were hit by someone, I don't know anything else. We are headed to the scene"
I can't breathe. This can't happen. What do I do now. How do I handle this.
"Head to the hospital and wait for the ambulance to arrive. Ian is missing"
What the fuck, how do you loose an 8 year old. Where is he? Why can't anyone find him? What the fuck do they mean missing?!
"They aren't scheduled to be coming to this hospital try babtist"
JESSICAAAAAA.
Oh fuck yes my rock is here, brain slow down please.
No.
I can't breathe. Why does it feel like there is no fucking oxygen is the air.
*phone rings*
DAD
"We are hurt bad and almost to the hospital, Ian will be alone. Go find him first."
"Okay, I love you"
How can I do this, what am I going to say. This isn't happening. I can't fucking believe this is happening. I need to see them. Fucking breathe damnit.
No, it's not okay, stop saying that. I can't loose them too.
*checks every ambulance that pulls on*
No..
No..
Nope...
Not them..
MOM
"MOM, I'm here, everything is going be okay, I love you,"
"I love you too"
*through the doors she goes*
"Dad, I'm here, I'm going to find ian, I love you."
"I love you too"
Stop thinking. Stop.
Breathe.
No blood. So far..
IAN.
*turns corner*
There is my baby boy.
"I'm okay."
I'm not.
"I was so worried"
I can breath now.
Having anxiety and going through life is a constant battle of calming your mind before doing or thinking of anything. My brain overloads itself to near shutdown at some points.
Strength is taking a deep breath before walking in a room to face your biggest fear. Simultaneously pushing those thoughts away to be delt with later or if at all.
I have now faced two of my biggest fears in life. Loosing a baby. And, over half my family being involved in a life ending car accident.
Through fear and unfortunate events in my life I'm learning balance. A lesson taught to me by the world's best 8 year old. You have to have good and bad to find balance in life. I have to go through these bad things to truly be able to enjoy the good things in life. I find emense joy walking into my living room and seeing them all sleeping peacefully now. Our living room has turned into a mini hospital room. Its full of blankets, pillows, medicines, ice packs and love. Lots of love and pure thankfulness to have them all home and taking on a caregiver role once again.
Plus I think there is more oxygen around here.
Much love to all of you. 💟 💟 Stay beautiful and full of love.
