Beauty

I had planned on wrighting on May 15th, but that just didnt happen.  That was my big day last year. The day I met the man who would eventually operate on my daughters brain. He told me she would never dance. She can now. He told me she would never see. She can now. I hope.. Saddness is enviable.  I feel that a lot now, it sneaks up on me. Tugging at my throat, anticipating the moment I burst into tears and let it take over. But then I remember the things she can do now. Her soul is free from her broken vessel.  Maybe to be recycled to a different vessel, a better one. Im so thankful I was able to meet her and hold her. And everyone who told me I would miss holding her more than anything.  Damn you and your precursor I brushed off. You were right. I took her bear out today. It has a tiny urn in it filled with her ashes. I have a necklace filled too. They are my most prizzed possessions.
Today I feel very thankful. Thankful of everyone who has checked up on me and sent flowers, food, or donations. It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful people can be. I havent been able to work since the end of my pregnancy.  I was Adalynne's sole caretaker and the financial stress that has caused me has most definitely been softened by all of those who have donated. A thank you will never be good enough to me to describe the emense amount of gratitude I have. And to, two of the best women out there. Thank you for allowing me to stay here. Thank you for helping me understand it's okay. It's all gonna be okay I'll never be able to pay you back for this. Just know that forever my heart will cherish this. Sitting here, listening to the wind while the bunnies play and birds fly by. Adalynne and I just love it.  I love you both so much.  And am looking forward to when you get home.
One day at a time. I can do this. Untill the next post my lovely readers. Much love to all the beautiful souls.