Christmas letter to my lost love.

Hey sweet baby,
I miss you
Last year we spent the night cuddled up together laying in my bed. I watched you peacefully drift to sleep and cherished that we had made it to Christmas together.  I got one Christmas with you. The best one of my whole life. You were my greatest gift. You morphed me into a superhuman I didn't know I could be.
   We woke up Christmas morning and opened your gifts together. I remember being so upset I couldn't buy you everything I wanted to give you. But you didnt care, you loved me regardless.  Our time together was your gift to me. Mine was to love and care for you unconditionally.  We were such a great team my sweet love. I wish I was putting you to bed and wrapping gifts for you to open in the morning with Ian. Mommy's heart hurts today babe.
   I keep a straight face to the world. Even my friends seem to forget sometimes. I don't want to see baby girl stuff. I still can't go into Targets baby section without my heart shattering into teeny pieces. Damn babe, some nights I can't even sit on this bed without my throat clenching while I blink back the tear waiting to pool and drop onto my cheeks.
  I was doing so well today. Then I stopped and turned and saw the tree I got you. I decorated it with some of your favorite things. I'll put it out for you every year and add more to it each time. It's beautiful and purple, which is our favorite,  obviously.  I know you love the cupcakes and butterflies on it. Gammie set up my village all around it. You know, because even our holiday world revolves around you. 😊

I really miss you.

Thank you for giving me the best memories of my life. You taught me so much in your short time with me. I promise I will never let your light stop shining. Everyone around me can forget but I wont. I will be at every Memorial service, candle light service, and walk to remember my body can take. I will never forget you Adalynne. I promised you I would give you All Of Me and I will never let you down.
Merry Christmas Adalynne Marcella, my true miracle and the best gift I could ever have gotten was waking up with you still breathing on December 25th 2014. I love you forever.

Love Mommy.